A healthy relationship involves partners caring for each other and themselves.
Common characteristics of a healthy relationship include respect, safety, honesty, kindness and feeling free to be yourself.
Many people also feel that sexual intimacy is an important part of a healthy relationship.
Learn more about healthy relationships, consent, signs of an unhealthy relationship and where to get help.
What is a healthy sexual relationship?
Consent
Sexting and nudes
What is an unhealthy sexual relationship?
Sex can be any kind of activity that one or more people do to feel sexually excited. It’s broader than intercourse (penetrative sex).
Sexual relationships are different for everyone. For example, you might prefer to have a relationship with one person or you may like to have casual relationships with different people.
Having sex with someone is a personal decision. Only you know what type of sexual relationship is right for you.
A healthy sexual relationship involves:
It’s normal for relationships to change over time and it’s important to discuss any issues with your partner. For example, you might talk about life pressures, changing bodies and fluctuating sexual desire.
Starting a new relationship can feel overwhelming at any age or stage of life. You may experience a range of emotions, from being nervous to excited.
When you meet someone you’re attracted to, it’s easy to get swept up in all the fuzzy feelings. But trusting your feelings alone can be risky. It’s important to understand what you want out of the relationship and pay attention to any ‘red flags’ (early warning signs of an unhealthy relationship) before leaping in.
If you’re ready for a new relationship you can try online dating. There are lots of apps to meet the needs of different people. Some are free and some charge for certain features. You may need to try a few before you find a good one or decide if it’s right for you.
While dating apps are generally safe to use, some people use them to take advantage of others. You can keep yourself safe online by following the online dating advice on the eSafety Commissioner website.
When you start a new sexual relationship, it’s important to have safer sex. This can help prevent sexually transmissible infections (STIs) and unwanted pregnancy.
It’s also a good idea to have a sexual health check before having sex with a new partner. Learn more about safer sex.
Consent means you agree to have sex or do something sexual, including kissing and intimate touching.
There are many ways you or your partner can ask for consent. For example:
You can give consent by saying ‘yes’ or telling the other person to keep going. You can also use body language, but make sure the other person knows you are giving consent.
Remember, you don’t have to do something if you don’t want to. And you can always change your mind. You can say:
It’s important for people to consent every time they have sex or do other sexual activities. This applies even if you are in a long-term relationship. It’s important to check in – don’t just assume consent.
Consent cannot be given in certain situations. For example, if a person is:
Watch this video about consent: Consent. It's as simple as tea. Credit: Emmeline May and Blue Seat studios.
In Australia, it’s illegal to engage in any sexual acts without consent. That is sexual assault.
In Australia, you must be a certain age to consent to sex. If you live in the ACT, NSW, NT, Qld, Vic. or WA, you must be 16 years or over. If you live in SA or Tas. you must be 17 years or over.
In Victoria, a person aged between 12 and 16 can consent to sexual activity with a person who is no more than two years older than them.
Each state and territory of Australia has different laws about certain types of sexual behaviours and interactions.
The Australian Institute of Family Studies website has information about age of consent laws.
Visit the Youth Law Australia website for information about youth law in every state and territory, including information about sex and dating.
If you experience sexual assault or sexual violence, you can get help.
If you are in immediate danger, call 000 and ask for the police. It’s your choice if you want to make a police report.
For specialist support, you can visit 1800RESPECT or call 1800 737 732.
You can also find a national sexual assault services directory at the National Association of Services Against Sexual Violence.
It’s important to get medical help as soon as possible after an assault. You can do this at a hospital or healthcare centre.
Sometimes people use their mobile phones or the internet to ask for and share sexual messages, images or videos. This is called ‘sexting’. Images where someone is naked, partly naked, posing sexually or doing a sexual act are called ‘nudes’.
People might send these images for different reasons. For example, to be fun and flirty or to get someone to like them.
While sexting may seem harmless, there are some risks involved. It’s important to understand these so you can protect yourself and people you have relationships with.
Once sexual images have been shared it’s hard to get them back. It’s also easy for people to share the images or post them online without your consent. This is called ‘image-based abuse’. It can include:
Sexting is legal in Australia if both people are over 18 and give consent.
It’s illegal to send, receive or look at a ‘sext’ of anyone who is under 18. It’s also illegal to share sexual images of anyone without their consent.
You can find more information about being safe online on the eSafety Commissioner website.
You can also report any online abuse on the eSafety Commissioner website, including image-based abuse.
It can be hard to tell if you are in an unhealthy sexual relationship. Signs may include:
It’s important to pay attention to ‘red flags’. For example, if your partner:
If you think you might be in an unhealthy relationship, you can talk to a trusted friend or counsellor.
If you feel unsafe in your relationship you can visit 1800RESPECT or call 1800 737 732.
If you’re in immediate danger, call 000.
This content has been reviewed by a group of medical subject matter experts, including Sexual Health Victoria.
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