A healthy sex life is an important part of your overall physical and mental health throughout your life. There are many things you can do to enjoy your sex life.
Get to know what feels good
Sexual pleasure is an important part of your sexual health and wellbeing. Understanding your pleasure zones will help you enjoy sex. There are many areas on the body that can give you pleasure, including:
- the clitoris and vulva
- the vagina
- the anus.
You may also feel aroused when touched or kissed on other parts of your body, such as your mouth, neck, nipples or scalp.
Masturbation
You can touch parts of your body to get sexual pleasure. This is called ‘masturbation’.
Masturbation is normal for people of any age. It can help you learn what feels good and what helps you to orgasm.
Everyone is different. You might masturbate a few times a day, a few times a month or not at all.
Communicate your needs
If you want to enjoy sex with other people, it’s important you feel safe with them. There should also be trust and respect in the relationship.
Be open and honest about the type of relationship you want, how much sex you want and what you do and don’t enjoy. You should also discuss safer sex and contraception with a new partner before having sex.
Allow time for sex
Allow time for sex so you can relax and be in the moment. Try to find a quiet, comfortable place where you’re not likely to be interrupted. Allow time for foreplay (e.g. kissing and touching) so you can become aroused and increase sexual pleasure.
Experiment with sex toys
You can use sex toys to give yourself and others sexual pleasure. There are many types of sex toys. When using sex toys:
- always use water-based lubricants
- avoid flavoured or scented lubricants
- remove any batteries and wash the toy in warm, soapy water before sharing it (to prevent STIs)
- change the condom on the toy if sharing with partners.
Use lubrication (lube)
Painful vaginal sex is common and can be caused by many things, including:
- lack of lubrication due to lack of arousal or certain medicines
- vaginal dryness due to lower oestrogen levels, common when breastfeeding and after menopause.
You can use an oestrogen cream to improve vaginal dryness. A lubricant cream or gel might make things easier and more enjoyable during sex.
Learn about sex and sexuality
There are lots of great resources about sexual desire and how to enjoy your sex life, such as books and online resources.
When to see your doctor
If sex is painful or you’re worried about your sex drive (libido) see your doctor. They will check if any physical conditions or medicines might be causing the problem and talk to you about next steps.
If you aren’t satisfied with your sex life or find it hard to experience sexual pleasure, your doctor might refer you to a sex therapist or sexologist.
Find more information, resources and references on sex and sexual health.
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