Good sexual health means being able to enjoy a regular and satisfying sex life by yourself or with others. Good sexual health is important at any age.
Your sex life can change over time, but there are many things you can do to maintain a satisfying sex life.
Look after your health
As you get older, changes to your health or your partner’s health can impact your sex life. For example, conditions such as pelvic organ prolapse can affect your comfort during sex.
It’s important to get regular health checks and see your doctor if you have pain or discomfort.
Learn about sexuality
Some older women say they missed out on important sex education at school and don’t have the confidence to talk about sex or their sexual needs. Learning more about sex and sexuality can increase your confidence and make sex more enjoyable. There are many books and online resources available.
Communicate with your partner
It’s important to have open and honest conversations about sex with your partner. For example, if you are starting a new relationship, talk to your partner about safer sex and health conditions that might affect your ability to enjoy sex.
It can be difficult to talk about these things, but if you want to have good sex you need to communicate your own wants, needs and desires to your partner. And ask what works for them as well.
Try something new
Spice things up by trying something new! You can take turns suggesting new positions, sex toys or role plays. If you or your partner have pain or mobility issues that make it hard to have sex, try other ways to be intimate. A sex therapist can also help you discover new ways to enjoy sex and intimacy.
Don’t put up with painful sex
Physical changes associated with ageing can make sex uncomfortable or painful. You can use oestrogen cream to improve vaginal dryness, which can happen after menopause.
Painful sex is common, but you don’t have to put up with it. Talk to your doctor as there are lots of treatments available.
Use lubricant (lube)
If you experience symptoms such as vaginal dryness due to menopause, lube can help make sex more pleasurable.
You can buy different types of lubes at chemists and supermarkets. Water-based lubes are safe to use with condoms and sex toys.
Take the pressure off
It’s normal for your sexual desire (libido) to fluctuate throughout your life. Lots of things can have an impact on your sexual desire, including life pressures, relationships, physical health and medicines. It’s okay if you don’t feel like having sex, but if you’re worried about your lack of desire, talk to your doctor.
Protect yourself from STIs
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are increasing among older women at a faster rate than among younger women.
If you’re starting a new relationship after many years, it’s important to discuss safer sex with new partners. To be even safer, you can both have a sexual health check before having sex. If any issues make it hard for you or your partner to use condoms, talk to your doctor.
When to see your doctor
If sex is painful or you’re worried about your sex drive, see your doctor. They will check if any physical conditions or medicines might be causing the problem. They may also refer you to a counsellor, psychologist, sex therapist or pelvic floor physiotherapist.
Find more information, resources and references on sex and sexual health.
© 2024 Jean Hailes Foundation. All rights reserved. This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part by any means without written permission of the copyright owner. Contact: licensing@jeanhailes.org.au